BANANAAA DUMPLINGS

The worst thing in the world is an old, black, rotting banana spawning fruitflies.

Also one that’s OOZING BANANA JUICE?!?!?!!??!?

But even worse is that banana phase when there are enough spots on the banana that no one wants to eat it, so my family makes ME eat it.  LOOK WHAT THEY MAKE ME DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  SAVE MEEEEEEEEEE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  IF I DON’T GET A-PRUS, DEY’LL MAKE ME EAT ARR DA BRACK BANANAAA.

Good thing I get all the A+s.

As a consequence, all the black bananas keep piling up, though.  Which are perfect for baking!  But the only banana recipes that you ever find are laaaaame, like banana bread or banana muffins or banana bread batter in muffin tins, and they’re all the same boring thing.

So I used my Azn senses (^_^) to find something exotic and more exciting, and I found these BANANADUMPLINGS!!!

They looked supercute, but as I read on, I realized it was just another IMPOSTOR.  THESE ARE NOT DUMPLINGS.  THEY’RE JUST CUTE LITTLE ORIENTAL-SOUNDING PANCAKES!  YOU CAN’T FOOL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But they taste really good.  I felt really bad for liking this fake Chinese food (faker than that Panda crap you guys eat every Friday night!) (actually, wait no, I think that’s really panda crap they feed you.  It’s cheap.  Y’know…  Made in China.), so I ate some bread to console myself.  But then the Azn inside of me cried a little.

You can’t win, I learned.  NEEDZ MAOR A+!!!!!!!!!!  Always.  At least until you reach OVER 9,000…..  Then I don’t know WHAT to do =/

I guess I’ll just have to find moar banana recipes.

.

Anyway, this one isn’t half-bad.  I prefer to think that it IS because I’m an optimist.  They say always being all negative really makes you a Debbie Downer.

I also really enjoyed using the most versatile kitchen utensil in the WHOOOOOOOOOLE WORLDDDD.  Not only can it whisk and whip, it can also mix and mash, all in just 30 SECONDS!!  And if you call now, you can get not ONE but TWOOO for the low low price of $19.95.  Three times.  BUT WAIT—–THERE’S MORE!

That’s what they told me at the grocery store.  The “MORE” part was a ladle, which sounded really useful at the time, but then I realized it was just a cheap trick to get me to buy the whisks.  But it was worth it cause I am SO. GLAD. that I have two whisks.  You people with one don’t know what you’re missing.

I use one whisk to do normal whisk-y things and the other whisk to mash up bananas =D

It was pretty easy making the batter, since IT WAS PANCAKE BATTER o_O

The hard part was eating them all.  There were SO MANY.  The recipe said it “makes about 16 dumplings”.  Well, IT’S ALL LIESSSSSSSSSS.  LIES I TELL YOU.  “I’ll always love you.”  WHAT A LOAD OF PANDA SHIT.

It was also difficult to eat them because they were SO CUTE.

Look at the little heart I made!

And then the last one looked like a little baby I made in the frying pan because it had the same little flower pattern!

So precious.

Advertisements

Protected: NEEDZ MOAR AZN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

I just made scones. At 4:30 a.m.

They are so good that they are giving me a headache.

Or maybe that’s the sleep deprivation…

Either way, HOLY SHIT THESE ARE THE BEST THINGS I HAVE EVER MADE EVARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  EVAR EVER EVAH 4-EVA!

I’m obsessed with coconut.  If I weren’t extra careful, I would gain those 400 lbs I’ve been trying to gain since sophomore year of high school in about 2 days.  They may be my favorite fruit in the universe, except I feel like they’re fake outcast loser fruits who get made fun of in school because they’re so fat =/

Sad but true.

.

When I found this recipe, I knew I had to make them before moving back into school because one of my roommates is vegan, and I started this tradition for myself of baking something the night before leaving for school.  I think I started it because 1) I <3 baking, 2) kitchens at school usually suck, and 3) giving free food to your roommate is probably one of the best ways to achieve a high standing early on in the year, which gives you a bit of legroom for when you start snoring or forget to put the toilet seat down.

Part of my tradition is starting to bake at around midnight, when no one else is awake because they have to be driving me while I sleep in the car.  However, this year, I decided midnight was too early.  And I also had to start packing then, so baking got a little delayed…

I ALMOST decided to wait until morning and make the scones after getting a bit of sleep, but I was too super excited about them and pumped up on WOOOOOOOO THIS YEAR’S GONNA BE AWESOME adrenaline to go to sleep anytime soon, anyway.

Also, making scones means using the PASTRY BLENDER =D =D

I think it was the best decision of my life to make these scones right then because they are probably the most delicious vegan baked good since sliced bread.  They may even rival my non-vegan blueberry scones, which are made with pure heaven extract and also babies.  Really cute babies.

.

And I was totally going to finish this post a looooong time ago, but I started writing it at about 6 a.m., and then school started, and I have a terrible memory and don’t remember how I was going to finish this off at all, and the picture I used isn’t very exciting, but at this rate, nothing is going to be added, so I’ll just hit “publish.”

love of making breakfast + fondness of eating breakfast – desire to wake up for breakfast = ?

Solution: breakfast for dinner.

.

I usually go for the simple and healthy things because I like being healthy (steel-cut oatmeal <3), but most of the fun things to make are a tad less healthy: muffins, scones, balls of butter, syrup, and/or extra calories, etc.  Of course, you can always use healthier substitutes (canola oil instead of butter! honey instead of syrup! whole wheat flour instead of white flour! fewer calories as opposed to extra ones!), but let’s face it: the less healthy alternatives usually taste better.  And I really wouldn’t want to try making scones without butter (or at least some heavy cream).

But a certain goddess-chef I like to learn from posted a carrot cake pancake recipe that I found when I was looking for something crazy to make at my summer research program’s pancake-making contest.  It doesn’t have a drop (or wad) of fat in the recipe at all (though it does suggest the use of some butter for the griddle), and MOREOVER, it uses a whole bunch of carrots.  Carrots are healthy.  <3.

Grating carrots is SUPAR fun! I promise.

I love me some pancakes, but waffles are far superior.  And the griddle we have at home is pretttyyyyyyy gnarly, whereas my waffle iron is fairly new.  And I’m in love with it.  It has an temperature-adjusting knob so that you can find juuuuust the right temperature for making your waffles crispy on the outside but fluffy on the inside.  We get waffles at school with fancy crests, but they don’t have adjustable temperatures, and I’m pretty sure mine cost OVER 9000 times less than the ones at school.  And you think that’s an exaggeration?  Well, the chairs on the lawn outside allegedly cost $300 each, so I’m sure my school doesn’t mind dishing it out for custom waffle irons.

I followed the smitten kitchen recipe exactly, even though it was for pancakes and not waffles.  The batter comes out pretty thin and liquidy, and from my vast experience making pancakes and waffles, I’m pretty sure the only difference between pancake and waffle batter is that waffle batter is a bit more liquidy.  Add a bit more milk to your pancake batter and you can make waffles with it.  Or don’t, and I’m sure it’ll be fine.  Just to check, though, I looked at my trusty plain waffle recipe to get an idea of the proportion of flour to milk to leavening agent to egg that should be in waffles, and they were really pretty much the same.

I really liked how the wet ingredients looked.

So I whipped up some batter (best thing about waffles, aside from EATING THEM, of course, is how easy it is to make the batter), grabbed my brush that was probably marketed as a BBQ sauce-brushing brush but is now used solely for greasing my waffle iron because my mother doesn’t believe in PAM, and crafted this beauty:

Ain’t she purdy?

Sad, I know.  But still super tasty!  I think the problem with this batter is that the carrots (and there are a LOT of carrots.  I used three whole carrots, and the batter made just three waffles.  Granted, my waffle iron makes MASSIVEly thick waffles, but still.  You just ate one of my waffles?  You just ate a whole fuckin’ carrot.  BAM.  Healthy breakfast.) make the inside really soft.  I remember when I made pancakes, the outsides would get almost burnt, and the inside would still feel almost undone (but again, still extremely delicious.  My team won Best-Tasting Pancake for a reason).  This happened again with the waffles, so maybe next time I will try adding a tad fewer carrots (it’ll still be super healthy, I promise!) and see if that helps keep the waffle together.  The second time wasn’t so bad, though.

=D

But then this happened:

D=

Like I said, the waffle doesn’t stay together well…

The third attempt was really good, though ^_^

My brother ate most of the last waffle. He claimed he didn’t like it.