I’M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! (for REVENGE)

I’m not exactly sure what I’m seeking revenge for, but there’s always something to complain about, and whoever tries to tell me that directing intense, unwarranted, seething hatred at pseudorandom targets is not their favorite pasttime of all time is going to become my next target.


I feel like my sophomore year was dominated by dining hall breakdowns where I would just start bawling in front of my meal and a poor, caring person who had to deal with it all (the food at school is actually really quite good, in general, BUT I CAN’T HELP IT).  But then that ended, which I was very appreciative of (Imagine a sophomore year that lasted for more than a year!!  … OH my god, I think I just came up with a storyline for the next best horrible horror film), and then an amazingly wonderful summer came around, which was the cause of my long-standing hiatus.  That is, if you discount the part where I got assaulted, and when I oxidized my lungs, and that horrible day when I bought a pair of flats and then got followed up a flight of stairs by a random old dude, and then some other rando guy tried to crash my sulking party.

2013 was also the year I kept breaking my own heart.  I say this like I am older and wiser than those days, but it’s still 2013, so I’m still a dumb shit (2014 is when I get to start that GeniusJuice clinical trial =D).  But it’s good because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and things you break become even better when you try to fix them because then no one will want to steal your taped-over iPod because its completely shattered screen will probably cut them when they touch it =D =D

Speaking of broken things, that actually somehow brings me back on topic to my REVENGE mUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAH.

Thank god because I was really unsure of how to continue writing this post, since I wrote the above nearly a month ago.

Anywho, I found this CrazySexyCool qipao in a random closet in my house a while ago (yes, it is pretty magical and amazing what I keep discovering in the closets at home; and yes, Ms. Jackson, I AM FOR REAL, though I am in no way sorry that I have a special magic-closet and you don’t.)  I forget because it was so long ago whether I found it splitting at its seams or whether it exploded when I tried to put it on because I actually actually gained like 3 pounds this year (LE GASP!!!!!!!!!) (Only 397 more to go~ =D), and it puts my days of wearing mega-tight jeans to school (circa 8th grade) to shame by being EVEN tighter than those size 0 “hip-huggers”, or, more accurately: I<3vanitysizingandencouragingunhealthyeatinghabitsinyounggirls death-grip-pants.  But I’m pretty sure it was found that way, and so one day a [shorter] while ago, I sewed it back up and then tried to put it on, and then this happened:

I couldn’t really get it on……

I really liked the qipao, though, and it would have definitely fit if the zipper were longer (I am so not in denial)(In fact, I am never in denial and was most certainly not almost stuck in a size 2 dress at an H&M dressing room today for about half an hour before my mom came to save me), so I decided to try my hand at sewing on a new zipper!  This was a monumentally grave and momentous occurrence because I had never sewed on a zipper myself before (except for the end that was splitting out of its seams that I sewed up, and even then I was almost too nervous to say hi), AND there are these things called zipper foots that you’re supposed to put on your sewing machine’s foot for sewing on zippers (Can you tell that that’s all I know about zipper foots, and I only inferred this from their name?), but I didn’t have any of those, so I just wung it.

But then IT WORKED.  And, more importantly, IT FIT.

Looking damn sexy in a new outfit is the best revenge.



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