Bacon and Cheddar Pull-Apart… Biscuits??!?!?!?!??!

I think the only thing that my parents would object to more than me marrying a white guy is me marrying a Muslim.*

NO!  Not because they’re intolerant in addition to being racist!  My dad is just obsessed with pork.  We eat it all the time.  Yesterday, my parents made barbeque pork spareribs.  And there were still some leftovers of pork sparerib pieces steamed with butternut squash.  And we also had some 叉燒

Pork Day is my favorite holiday.


So due to pork overload, I decided to hold off of on making these until today.

I don’t think I’ve made the same recipe more than once in a year (or possibly even ever) since I discovered the Food Blog because there are SO MANY delicious recipes to try (and, tragically, always so little time).  Even if it’s AMAZINGGGG, I am always more excited about wasting my life browsing through blogs and making millions of to-make lists of new recipes.  An old recipe never makes the cut.  But I felt bad for these biscuits, which I made at school but never properly documented, because at school

So I decided that I had to make them again and write about it.

I also feel bad about choosing these as my one repeat, though =/  Sorry coconut scones!  It’s not you; it’s my brother.  Who likes bacon.  I don’t even like bacon!  So it’s not me, either.  You really thought I was gonna use that line, like my middle school “boyfriend” did?  But the fact of the matter is: the biscuits are cuter.  You were great, really.  But god, it’s just too soon.

Anyway.  Long story short: to justify this drama, I said to those coconut scones that I’m not technically doing the same recipe.  Last time, we sprinkled powdery parmesan meant for pasta-topping instead of adding real cheddar like the recipe says to do, and to add a bit more excitement, I decided to make it more fun to eat.  Hence the pull-apart.

I used extra sharp cheddar because I like my cheese the way I like my men: strong and rich.

One thing I think I could’ve done better last time was make the bacon crunchier.  My brother informed me that the technique for doing so is pouring off the grease as you cook.  So I did.  But APPARENTLY, you also aren’t supposed to throw all 15 strips of bacon into one pan.

Or burn the pan.

But it gives the pan such a well-worn and dearly loved rustic look.  Plus, I totally made a cat in the burnt lard!  =D

Do you see it?


Everything after and including that went well, though, except for the parts that I fucked up (and there weren’t any of those), but then there was too much dough for a small baking pan and too little for a big pan, so I went for the big pan, and it kind of just looks like a messy lump.


My dad really liked it, too.  Which means that either it was 1) not cinnamon-y, 2) SUPAR FATTY, 3) pie crust, or 4) all of the aforementioned.  I think if someone used those words to describe my cooking, I wouldn’t be altogether displeased.

I feel kind of gross now, though, from all the butterbaconcheeseflour.  But I scrubbed that pan afterwards, so that probably burned all 11 biscuits’ worth of calories.  I could’ve gone the whole dozen if I wanted to, but I decided to exercise some restraint.

And the biscuits probably weren’t even all that fatty.

Because all the [bacon] grease was in this bowl, and not the biscuits.

All this lard is making me sleepy…

Sometimes I get food comas confused with stroke comas -_____-”

*Fret not, eligible white bachelors and/or wealthy white parents!  I have schemed an elaborate elopement since birth =)


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cookie
    Dec 31, 2012 @ 09:09:11

    you are hilarious.


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